day 1 of 2013

hi.
im back.
it's the first day of the year 2013 & i wish everyone a very happy new year.

ive decided to blog again because i really need  to let out my thoughts, my feelings..i just need let out everything even if it means letting it out to a...blog.

many things have taken place. feels like im losing myself. it's like i find myself and then i lose myself again & the vicious cycle continues. im on the verge of giving up. im tired, exhausted of myself. im tired of my constant negative thoughts. my thoughts are never positive. it's not like im not trying. i am trying. i just feel lost. how do i find myself back. where have i lost myself.
im not trying to gain sympathy nor am i seeking for anyone's attention. i really feel this way. i wake up feeling empty. cry myself to sleep. i've no idea what's bothering me really.

you know, i wish people will take me seriously. i just wanna cry......i just wanna breakdown and cry. i want someone to hug me. i need someone to be there for me. wish i can be happier. it's not that im not thankful for my life right now. im just sad. used to be so optimistic about myself, about life, about everything. but now it's like the world is coming down on me. the world is coming down on me & i cant find a reason to be loved............................

here's my favourite song of all time.
can't embed the video i dont know why what a moron. but yea, love the lyric.

arms//christina perri

I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart
But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
You put your arms around me and I'm home

How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around
I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved
I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth
And I've never opened up
I've never truly loved 'Till you put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go


I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

You put your arms around me and I'm home