tired. im tired. im so tired.
tiring..this is tiring. can it get any more tiring?
am i finally giving up? has it already been too much for me?
numb so numb
usually the heart says silly but the head says smart
but this time both says...to think for myself.
hurt? you ask me if it'll hurt?
it will...but even through all these months, hurt never spared me.
so what difference will it make?

when you finally realised that you've been thinking that the problem was this but it turns out that the problem don't lie with that...that's when you decide if it's time to finally just...walk away.
true strength is doing the right thing even if you don't want to do it.

i thought i knew you. i really wish i knew you. she wasnt the problem...well may 25% but 100% was another thing.
problem is..i never really knew you. not that i didnt want to, i'd very much wanted to, but you didnt let me.
all along, there was this barrier.you're so afraid of falling..of letting go.
no, i think what you're most afraid of was....what if you become just like me?

i can't allow myself to be in this whirlpool. it's too...rmheoehiormw
idk anymore. i just dont.
spare me the sorrow i deserve something better..yea at least something i truly deserve.
just not this. not anymore.

what is love?

love is God
love is your parents
love is your friends
love is your partner
love....is love.

love is like
a battery for a laptop, a charger for a battery
love is like
a conditioner for hair, a head full of hair for a person
love is like
the book little prince

love is me.
love is me doing milo
love is me cooking
love is me buying coke
love is me doing things i love about you
love is me making time
love is me loving you

you see. love..is unexplainable.
yet...you know its love.

love is getting jealous
love is getting angry
love is sleepless nights
love is crying to sleep
love is being selfish

who popped into your mind as you read this?
your lover.


love is letting go.

redha...
redha atiqa.
whatever happens will happen. all in Allah's hands.
as much as i want some things, it's better that i live w/o them.
accept it, leave it, move on.
know that i've never let anything down.
7months was supposed to be today but sometimes dates turns insignificant though it's still in remembrance.
it hurts a lot. hurts a lot.
when one dont give a single shit no more. like one day they just wake up and you mean 0 to them.
when he doesnt feel guilty or wrong or even bad doing things that hurts.
i think i've had it.
away from my phone. away from twitter. away from instagram.
from whatsapp especially.
i'll be okay again, i've been through this a couple of times already by now. so yup.
im just tired tired tired of giving too much f u c k s
you'll regret it one day one day youre gonna miss me one day you'll realise what you have but it'll be too late
good bye good bye no more no more no more
this is gonna be harder than it already is
3rd parties are a pain in the ass, this is so not me but i think i know what hate is and it aint good but i swear i hope you both will have a very rough and bad life what goes around comes around to you both
i really hate both of you i really hope shit wont ever stop happening in your lives
hah i feel bad whatever
may god forgive me and forgive them for all their....wrong shitty doings

Find a partner who encourages you to grow, who won’t cling to you, who will let you go out into the world, and trust that you will come back

3 days have passed.
i still miss you.
but i'll get over you. over us.
i'll be happier without you.

atiqa...please stop crying.
i wish i can call someone up because im fucking down.really.
can someone just wake me up.
please wake me up.
tell me. scold me. push me.
please just wake me up.
i dont deserve to be crying over someone who dont give one shit to me.
3AM.
and my face drenched with my tears.
i need to move on. move on. move on.
please someone help me.
i cant do it all alone.
maybe i can. but im so weak and tired.\it's not a joke when one as harboured suicidal thoughts at this time really.
i dont wanna go back there. i dont want to..........
im afraid. im so afraid.
someone please.

i
do
not
want
to
be
how
i
used
to
be.

in life, you're gonna hurt people.
especially people you love.
and if at some point of time, if things never works out after constant tries, you have to give up even if that's the last thing you want to do.
even if it hurts.
even if its painful.
who told you that letting go and giving up is ever easy?
do it, even if it seems like the last thing you wanna do, because it might just be the last...right thing..left to do.

nights.

words.
what are words?
words are just....words. am i not right?
no.
do you realise the power of words?
1 word, 2 words, 3 words.
how...they make up a sentence?

do you realise the power of words?

words. they have the power to cut you so deep.
but words. they also have the power to make you move the fuck on (on the brighter side).

so you're saying i dont walk the talk.
that..i dont do the things i say.
you know...words.. think twice, just remember to think twice.
words can affect you. your life. your future. it's true.
each time i say something, i don't carry it out at all. well, now..you.watch.me.

i did it. but i was weak. my emotions(again) got in the way.
remember how cold i could be? i be that just again.
& im gonna do it...all over again.
& im not gonna let the same thing happen all over again.

do you know what's worse than being labelled as Fucked Up?
"Your Mind Is Fucked Up."
fucked up, screwed, twisted. what else what else my dear.
as if it's new to me even. though it isnt new, it cut me..real deep. and i hope you're contented.

you talk bout ego like you've none at all. People.
They should consider buying more mirrors. To reflect on themselves first before pinpointing others.
Poeple.
They should consider appreciating what they have till it's gone.
Ah fuck it, gonna do more productive things in case some Drag starts yapping away.

timecheck:1:40AM.
go to sleep all of you. let your twisted minds rest.

it's a little too dark here isn't it?
look, look at the waves.
waves after waves after waves of..darkness.
let's brighten it up a bit.
with a song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWOyfLBYtuU

great song by Florence and the Machine//Dog days are over.

enjoy your Tuesday.
i'll actually recommend to you readers to listen to the live version. got me smiling.